Sometimes, a match happens that is so unorthodox that you have nothing other to do than sit there and watch the insanity transpire.
As a wrestling fan, the perfect example for me took place on March 22, 2000 on Thunder from the TD Waterhouse Center in Orlando, FL, when two creatures from the Animal Kingdom prepared to do battle to see who would be the dominant species in World Championship Wrestling.
It was a match between Ernest “the Cat” Miller and The Dog.
That’s right. CAT VS DOG.
For both men, the journey to this match was intriguing.
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“The Cat” was finally starting to hit his stride in WCW by March of 2000.
Ernest Miller made his debut as a part of the “Blood Runs Cold” storyline back in 1997 alongside Glacier against James Vandenberg, Mortis, and Wrath. Once the angle ran its course, Miller joined forces with Japanese liaison Sonny Onoo and formed an underrated tandem. Miller began calling himself “the Greatest” and became wrestling’s version of James Brown.
He started coming out to the ring with red slippers and would dance his ass off to the fans dismay. He would physically demonstrate his abilities as a three-time world karate champion, and talk as much smack as humanly possible.
Throughout 1999, the Cat found himself as a dastardly part of the midcard. However, although he and Onoo ultimately split up, his stock continued to rise. His charisma was second-to-none.
At SuperBrawl 2000 on February 20, 2000, Miller got put on the national newscycle when “the Godfather of Soul” James Brown made a surprise appearance. “The Hardest Working Man in Show Business” had a fun dance-off with the Cat, to Maestro’s dismay, and gave Miller his own cape. The torch had been passed.
With all that momentum, Cat became a popular man with the WCW fan base. To protect his goods, he hired Mike “Virgil” Jones to be his bodyguard. And with a winning streak following SuperBrawl, everything was coming up Cat.
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The story of the Dog was one of pure madness.
The night after Starrcade 1999, Brian Knobbs and Fit Finlay came together as the Hardcore Soldiers, dressed in army fatigues, looking to dominate WCW.
Knobbs, in particular, was still embarrassed after losing to Norman Smiley in a match to determine the first ever WCW Hardcore Champion. However, joining up with Finlay, a former Television Champion and the winner of the Junkyard Invitational at Bash At The Beach 1999, meant pain and destruction were on the menu.
A few nights prior to Souled Out 2000, Knobbs defeated Norman Smiley for the Hardcore Title on Thunder, then successfully defended it in a four-way match against Smiley, Finlay, and Meng.
Knobbs would wind up being a three-time Hardcore Champ, losing and winning it back from Bam Bam Bigelow at SuperBrawl 2000 and 3-Count at Uncensored. It was after becoming a three-time champion that Knobbs knew he needed another Hardcore Soldier.
However, it wasn’t any normal man; it was a DOG.
Al Green, a journeyman from the State of Florida, took on the role and, to his credit, played it to the hilt. He made his debut on the March 1, 2000 Thunder, and in a six-man tag, alongside Finlay and his “owner” Knobbs, defeated Evan Karagias, Shannon Moore, and Shane Helms.
Knobbs would actually have Dog on a leash as he made his way to the ring. Dressed in red and yellow army fatigues, Dog would be snarling, growling, and barking his way to the ring. Once the Hardcore Champion would unleash him from his chain, Dog would go insane like a rabid creature, uncultured and on the attack.
After accumulating a pretty decent win/loss record throughout the month of March, WCW’s Matchmaking Committee decided to make a match that truly would shake the wrestling landscape forever.
CAT VS DOG.
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From a fifteen-year old’s perspective in 2000, in the height of edgy professional wrestling, this was childish and lame.
Now in my mid-30s, I absolutely love this match.
First, Mike Tenay and Bobby “the Brain” Heenan are on the call. Even though his frustration with the company was shining through, his line about this being a “veterinarian dream match” was absolutely hysterical.
Once the match began, it was incredibly unorthodox. There was no real wrestling holds or any of that “psychology”. It was the fast feet of the Cat against the fists of the Dog.
At one point, Knobbs was providing guidance to his Dog, including whipping the Cat at he bounced off the ropes with the dog chain. However, as Mr. Tenay asked about how many lives the Cat had left, Cat caught Dog with a side hook kick for a three count and the win.
The fans were exasperated, watching the Dog get hooked back up with the chain and whipped by Knobbs to the locker room, and the Cat doing his James Brown, dancing in a celebratory fashion.
Here’s the ironic thing: after this match up, Knobbs packed the Dog in the car and proceeded to abandon him on the side of the road. Somehow, the following week, Dog made his way to Thunder and lost his Hardcore Title match against Knobbs.
Unreal.
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A few weeks later, “the world changed” in WCW, as Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff returned to the promotion to take over the creative process.
The Cat would ultimately become WCW’s Commissioner and remain a focal point on television until WWF bought it in March 2001.
The Dog, after losing to Knobbs, was never seen again. Some say he continued to wrestle in Florida, others say he was put down for good. Regardless, unlike many, I actually enjoyed the character, as he seemingly went all in and did his best.
For a lot of fans, Cat vs Dog might have been the dumbest match in the history of professional wrestling. I disagree. I thought it was silly and ridiculous, as well as short in length.
If you want the dumbest match ever, just wait for Viagra on a Pole.
#BANKONIT
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